Transformers: The Game – Review (X360, PS3, Wii, PSP, PC)
This is by far, without a doubt, the worst game I have ever played. Sure I haven’t played every game, but I have played a hell of a lot. It is an insult to the Transformers in every way. I really am struggling to decide where to start.
The game is actually fun for a good solid 5 minutes. The level of destruction you can inflict on the environment is awesome and it is a cool idea to allow you to play as the Autobots or Deceptacons. Running around as a giant robot has it’s appeal. It is after these first 5 minutes that the game turns to absolute crap. Your robot is supposed to have all kinds of abilities like transforming on the fly, climbing buildings, or picking up objects to use as weapons. I couldn’t get any of them to work with any kind of regularity. When attempting to pick up an object at my feet, I usually had to try 3 or more times. Some enemies are only vulnerable to thrown weapons and picking up objects to throw on the fly in the middle of a fight is a near impossible. The controls work fine if you are standing in the middle of a field all alone, but as soon as you bump into something, your robot decides to tell you which way he wants to look.
Driving around as a vehicle is absolutely terrible. The car physics are very floaty and don’t handle either realistically or easily. Driving into other vehicles (which is necessary in most driving missions) is a complete crap shoot. I ran through a police roadblock and scooped a tank into the air without loosing speed, only to be brought to a dead stop by a city bus. Upon turning around and hitting the same bus again, it was flung into the air without phasing me. I could drive straight through low walls sometimes, while other times these walls would bring me to a complete stop. There was even a time where I was driving down an empty street at a moderate rate of speed and, even though I didn’t hit anything, I was flung spinning into the air for about a half a mile. The game is played in an open world environment with no map available so there is no way to find the optimum way to a goal. There was also a boss fight I came to fairly early in the game that I battled for a half hour without having any clue how to damage him and the hint system in the game doesn’t even mention that fight. I spent most of my time with the game trying unsuccessfully to learn the proper way to manipulate the controls. No matter how much time I spent with the game, the controls never felt right and I’m not sure if it was because the controller layout wasn’t good or if the way the robot on screen never quite responded properly to the controller inputs.
Back off or I'll hit you with this refrigerator that somewhat resembles a truck!
The graphics in every single area are horrendous. Sure, the robots look kind of cool, but everything else on screen reminded me of the first 3D games I have played. Everything has a very low polygon count and little to no detail. This is also the first game that I have ever played where the cutscenes look worse than the gameplay. Everything is sped up in the cutscenes, making the action look like a low budget Saturday morning CGI cartoon. It is completely unfaithful to the movie. Speaking of unfaithful the the movie, the missions have no connection to the movie (or even the story in the game for that matter). During every mission, you are running around in plain view of the public with every cop in the state chasing you. As soon as a cut scene comes up, no one knows you are there. Many times, you will reach your goal at an intersection and see no one around, but a cutscene will start and there will be a fight already in progress right in the center of the intersection.
I recall the mission where I decided that the game was pure crap quite vividly. Your objective is to race to Jazz and protect him from attacking drones. Once you reach the first spot, a cutscene shows Jazz get knocked across the street and he looks up at you like a complete sissy and just lays on the ground. The enemies that he couldn’t handle alone take two punches from you and you move on. Jazz speeds off and you must catch up to him and do the same thing again. He gets the crap kick out of himself three or four times and you must save him every time. Apparently the video game version of Jazz has no combat abilities what so ever.
This game is just a half assed attempt at cashing in on the movie’s success. The sad part is that it will succeed. The game seems to be geared at kids, but the movie wasn’t so why would the game be? Most of the fans of the movie will be insulted by this game. If you must play Transformers, buy the movie and hold your controller in you hand and act like you are playing. As pathetic as that sounds, it will be a more rewarding experience than the game.
The Bottom Line
| Pros |
|---|
| Disc makes a halfway decent coaster |
| Cons |
| Everything else |
| Verdict |
| A half assed attempt at cashing in on the movie's success. |
| Overall |
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